A letter from God

At one point on my recovery journey, I was given the task of writing a letter to myself from God. This letter has become, for me, an anchor to a loving Higher Power so different to the punishing God portrayed by the Church of my youth.

Dear Janet, 

When you were a very young child, your mother told you that as long as you believe in God, He will protect you.  I know that you stopped thinking I was a caring Father when your own father rejected and hurt you so terribly.  It breaks my heart when you doubt what you’re worth.  When you cried, I cried with you.  Even as you began to think I had deserted you and that I must be a mean, punishing God, and when you began to doubt that a loving caring Father existed in Heaven or on Earth, I was there with you.  My love was there and none of your scars could make me love you less.

That love for you was manifested in that spark of hope that you never lost.  That spark stayed there in you and with you during your darkest moments.  It helped you escape the nightmares you endured.  I know that you live in fear that I do not exist and that you will be punished for all of your mistakes.

You are wrong my precious daughter.  I gave you all of the hope you never lost.  You have become who you are not “in spite of” but “because of” the things that you have been through.  I have always been with you through everything that this human world has done to you.  My arms have been around you always.  You have searched your entire life for a “Father” that was loving, proud and accepting of you.  You need not search anymore because I am here and I know you have begun to feel my love.  I will never leave you.  I will always love you and I will always know for you that you are worthy and precious.  Please stay on this path you have begun to bravely walk and I will hold your hand and walk with you always.

God